Marriage Musings

Falling down the rabbit hole of marriage


on April 10, 2010
A couple Fridays ago, I closed the front door before double checking that J had his keys. I was tired, hungry and not feeling well (not a good combo for me) so I sat on the deck to wait for our manager to get back from her other job…..quitely seething/pouting. J on the other hand was determined to get in so he went to our garage to get some tools he could use to try and “break in.” He was unsuccessful, which I figured he would be, because the only way to break into our place is to actually break something. Eventually he came back and we sat together and chatted while we waited. It got me thinking about our differences. People say “opposites attract” which sometimes is true. I think we are a good mix of oppositeness–its my site and I can make up words if I want :)–and similariness. In some ways we grew up the same, we were both raised in the church of Christ, had a decent number of kids in the family and had a mom and a dad. In some ways our personalities are the same also, in that we tend to be very quiet around new people. In other ways we are completely opposite. His family was very close growing up. My parents tried hard to keep us close as a family but it did not really happen until we got older. He loves to be outside, climbing anything and everything and just being physical in general. I on the other hand, would rather sit and read all day. He wants a big dog and I want a smaller dog. The list goes on. The incident on Friday reminded me that sometimes we are very different. While some may view this as a negative, I think of it as a positive, as a growing experience. One big difference between us is he is very laid back and I am….not. I like things to be planned and scheduled to the minute if I could. This year we will have been together for 7 years and I am a much different person than when we met. I have attempted to be a more “go with the flow” person and he has attempted to think ahead more. We have both changed but for the the better. That is one great thing about being married, we can spend the rest of our lives helping the other person be who God wants them to be. Our differences show me how much more growing I have to do (so I don’t get upset when he does things differently) but also is a source of amusement and laughter.

2 responses to “Differences….

  1. nfaddis says:

    I can relate to this! Mitch and I balance each other well in many good ways. He helps me relax and not stress out too much and brings me food when I am busy and forgetting to eat and I help motivate him to get stuff done. I edit his paper and he helps me brainstorm ideas. It is nice to have complimentary differences. Plus, differences keep life interesting!

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